It is effortless to close and shut everyone away for the longest time when it gets cold. Let’s be honest; It is more manageable. At least for Garcia. For one, it is something much more logical than ever.
Garcia is perhaps us. Our whole life, we were taught one should hide once things get tough. Yes, the “us” who were not privileged enough to have parents who weren’t aware that every breed is rare and unique on its own.
It was always boxes
Man or women
Bad or evil
Intelligent or dumbass
Winner or looser
Poor or rich
The world of Garcia was told in a very mono-lens way. Until one day, one decided: no more.
Garcia stopped responding to the labels, norms, colors, or rules. And unlike the highly celebrated yet confusing messages swirling around the internet, Garcia just wanted one thing: one wanted to be a writer, an entrepreneur, an innovator, an actor, a director, a film creator of one’s own. “You are an idiot for wanting all of that.” Maybe there were both truths and lies in it.
“Garcia, be a little bit normal, please. Put on layers, smile more, talk less.”
That was how one was taught growing up. Garcia trained oneself to close the door once things got tough. “Pray the worries away. God will help.” Close the door, shut it. Yet one’s reflection was still very apparent through the giant see-through mirror of oneself. The image that someone wished to never stare back at. So that’s why Garcia put on the curtain. A massive one.
For Garcia, starting this new chapter and life choice meant that all the worries and flaws must be shut down. At least for Garcia, the world kept reminding oneself of how perfection was attainable. Garcia believed that more than anything.
Until it was suffocating, drowning. When the curtain was dropped, all the lights were blocked. There was nothing, nothing. Sometimes, it felt even better to just shut everything and everyone away. But was it?
It was cold, icy, tundra. Garcia couldn’t resist the pain no more. Suddenly, even Garcia felt that the curtain was mocking. So Garcia grabbed it, attempting to tear them apart. Only when Garcia realized: that the curtain was blocking Garcia from seeing the world that could be warm and welcoming too.
Maybe life could be terrifying and demanding. Especially for those, anyone who felt does not belong. Maybe, the answer was not to drop the curtain.
Maybe it was about unleashing the pain for the world to see for themselves.
July 13th, 2022
Groningen
Prominent Queen est. 1995 