“I want to leave this nest, but I am afraid to embrace the new, to start over. I am not exactly an open person. What would ‘those new others’ will perceive me? Will I survive? Will I be okay?” “You can NOT let your own limitations hold you back. Naturally, I am a no much … More Holding You Back – A Typical Journal
“Congratulations, you have just made a purchase of X.” I frowned instantly. I kinda felt the pang inside me. Because I just decided to get Z instead. And let me tell you the full story: at first, I have decided to purchase W. I have fully dedicated my mind on it. Then I encountered V, … More Being Undecided – A Typical Journal
Part 2 : Relation(shits) vs Relationship – About Current Reality “I love you so much, so I let you go to find the happiness you will never find with me.” Formally, I have stated this twice in my life. Every time, it still stings. I have no plan to state it anymore in life. Therefore, I believe, … More Of Relation(shits) and Society Who Can NOT Leave You Alone – Part 2/3
“How is that so hard for you to decide?” I chuckled, muttered inside me, ‘How is that not?’ “It was just either the X phone or the Z phone. How is that such a big deal?” I stayed silent. No, not pondering. Instead, my mind wandered to the theory of human psychology, the secret of … More She Who Can Not Decide
“Aku iri ih dia punya pacar yang kayak gitu. Padahal orangnya jelek loh.” Tapi kenapa ya, kita nggak pernah bilang…. “Aku iri masa, pacarnya itu sudah punya pasangan legal.” Rasa iri itu memang hal lumrah yang sulit sekali dimengerti ya. “I am jealous of that scum. How could such a partner be attended with such … More Rasa Iri (Jealousy)
One among many things I find problematic is how we “encourage” different perspectives, yet, we dodge debate or constant constructing-deconstructing arguments. They are part of one and the same deals, after all, not contradictory. You can not have both silence and loud, or “freedom” and “irresponsibility.” Thinking it is valid is as absurd as saying … More Being Human and Ridiculous
A Distorted Tale #byL “I’mma wear this on my wedding day.” I never respond to that. I always find it ridiculous to have women only deserve to be the prettiest on her wedding day. Who wrote that rule? Some bunch of people who believe that will be the last time a woman can look beautiful, because after, she’ll … More She Who Runs Two Realm
A semi-fictional tale #byL “You are very intelligent and kind.” I stared blankly at the other eyes on the screen. It is not because I hate those eyes. (Of course, I have grown fond of it.) Surely I could not tell how endless terrors and self loathe screams inside me, no? My throat went dry. I felt … More “You Need to Get Help”
A Semi Fictional Tale #byL “I don’t want any babies.” The friendly office ladies lunch, in our dirty corner went dead silent. It was as if just another 9-11 attack took place. “I also do not want any marriages.” If it was indeed a second 9-11 attack, I pictured it was a chaos, people ran away … More The Terrorist
I want to be loud, but my upbringing and endeavor are silent I want to keep it privately, yet I want the world to see I want to be alone, but sometimes it felt “too alone” I want to be me, but I also want to be loved I want the world, but I want … More The Paradox of Being Me
This is the part of #QuarterLYsis Part 1 : How I Started to be My Own Everything – The Backstory of Becoming Self Sufficient (YES, I AM A WOMAN. YES, I EXIST) Relationships. What a juicy topic! The first bottom line: I hate to openly talk about this. As I am writing this, I live daily among … More Of Relation(shits) and Society Who Can NOT Leave You Alone – Part 1/3
#QuarterLYsis – Look inside the silence “What are you afraid of?” “What are you waiting for?” For the longest of time, those voices haunted my head. Constantly. For me, letting myself to feel is a conflicting process. (The reason behind every time “something” takes place, including the wonderful ones, I turned to books and films). … More Introduction
Prominent Queen est. 1995 